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Well into its third season now and more popular than ever, The Hills continues to be one of my favorite guilty pleasures, ideal and therapeutic television for a Monday night. What’s not to love? The “real” life trials and tribulations of 4 attractive L.A. gals is like the equivalent of flipping through a glossy fashion magazine while sipping on a cocktail. Everyone looks like they have their own stylist and each episode not only gives you a healthy dose of background music but also conveniently provides the name of the artist and song in the right hand corner of the screen. No need goes unfulfilled during this half hour of television!

But how much longer can the show go before the audience is over The Hills? This season has been an interesting one—Whitney and Lauren’s Paris trip, Heidi and Spencer’s “relationship vacation”, Lauren and Stephanie (Spencer’s sister) becoming friends, Audrina, Lauren and Lo talking about sharing a house together, etc…–but I wonder if the writers (oh wait, I forgot, this is “reality” tv!—ha ha) are running out of fresh ideas? Is reconciliation in store for the audience where Lauren and Heidi are concerned; or a season finale cat fight between the two gals? (I’m hoping for it to start as the former but end up as the latter, of course. What can I say, I want it all!) Will one of the characters realize that she’s a lipstick lesbian? Will another realize that she’s not a natural blonde? How about a drunken night that finds one of the characters—other than Heidi, that is—pregnant with Spencer’s demon baby? Will more (or any) focus be placed on either Heidi’s singing (and I use that term loosely; you’ll know why if you’ve heard her wretched song “Higher” or seen the equally painful video to it, shot and directed by none other than Spencer) career, or Lauren emerging as a clothing designer? Or would that be getting too close to reality?

One other thing I’m wondering about The Hills—and I hope someone will correct me if I’m wrong—but why don’t any of these fabulous gals have any fag friends? I mean, given that Whitney and Lauren are involved in the world of fashion, you would think that at some point either would have bonded with some cute gent who likes cock. For a show that has all of its other bases covered, some gay content seems to be the only thing missing.

Could The Hills be homophobic? With the absence of anything “gay”, it kind of makes you wonder. Doesn’t it?

Cheerio!

S.R.

While there hasn’t been any shortage of horror flicks in recent years, god knows finding one that’s actually good is another story altogether. Often they are remakes and almost just as often they are remakes of films that don’t deserve the remake treatment. So when something comes along that is an original, I’m more inclined to check it out.

Such was the case a week ago when I ventured into a darkened theater with a friend for a screening of the film, The Ruins. Based on the novel by Scott Smith (who also adapted the film to screen; always a promising sign when the same person is responsible for both versions, if you ask me), the flick “follows a group of friends who become entangled in a brutal struggle for survival after visiting a remote archaeological dig in the Mexican jungle where they discover something deadly living among the ruins.”

A nice, simple storyline is the kind of thing that works very well in the horror genre. And that holds true here. Apart from the final scene—which I found to be a bit of a letdown and am curious if the absolute ending of the novel is the same–The Ruins is a suspenseful, effective and often brutal thriller with enough bone-chilling scenes to get your adrenaline going; the friend I saw it with shrieked like a frightened school girl in all the right places. (I found myself gasping more than shrieking, for the record.) And in case you’re wondering, there are plenty of blood-soaked, squirm-in-your-seat moments, too.

What I also discovered—for the first half an hour or so, at least, and quite unexpectedly, I might add—was just how attractive the young cast was, ESPECIALLY the male characters (of course).

The biggest stud surprise to me was actor Jonathan Tucker, who with his boyish good looks was a familiar face from such films as The Deep End (with recent Oscar winner Tilda Swinton) and The Virgin Suicides; he also appeared in the remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and In the Valley of Elah (neither of which I’ve seen). But what I don’t remember from those films was just how hot this guy’s body is. Seriously. In The Ruins, there’s a scene where he gets out of the shower and is towel-drying himself off. It’s abundantly clear that this dude has a gym membership somewhere. I only wish I knew where exactly and what days of the week he works out there. Damn!

Shawn Ashmore, best known for his role as Bobby Drake/The Iceman in the X-Men films, also looks mighty fine here but in way that’s different from the god-like physique of Tucker. He’s in admirable shape, has wavy blond hair, a beard and body hair. And the scene when he’s trying to persuade his girlfriend to give him a morning blow job prior to them meeting up with the rest of the group is enough to make any fag want to lend a helping hand, etc…

And then there’s sexy Joe Anderson, again a familiar face—with these unbelievably incredible blues eyes–but while watching the film, I couldn’t figure out in what else I had seen him; however, when I Googled the actor on-line, I experienced instant (and lusty) recall of him in two of his most recent films, Across the Universe, and Control (which is about the forming of Joy Division).

The final on-screen stud is yummy 19 year old Australian actor, Dimitri Baveas; and although he doesn’t benefit from having a lot of screen time, the audience certainly benefits from him being shirtless almost every time he’s in front of the camera.

So I guess it’s safe to say that for me The Ruins was successful on two levels: one as a horror film, and the other as a fantasy flick, what with all of those sexy studs among the ruins. Gets my imagination wanking–er, I mean working overtime!

Cheerio!

S.R.

I’m no size queen but I do like to have something to work with; however, it’s always a nice surprise when the dick before me surpasses that criterion. 

Can you recall the biggest cock you’ve had in your hands, mouth and/or ass?  Chances are yes, unless of course you’re as forgetful as you are slutty.  But can you remember your FIRST huge cock?  Such is the premise of the yummy and aptly titled website, His First Huge Cock.