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Archive for December, 2005

Top Hot Sites of 2005

Thursday, December 29th, 2005

Later this afternoon I’m off to London and then Paris for a couple of weeks. But before leaving for the airport I wanted to share with you my favorite hot sites of 2005. Granted there are many, many sites out there still for me to discover and explore, but in Sir Randy’s opinion the following (listed alphabetically) rank as the best:

Corbin Fisher
Galaxy Male
His First Huge Cock

Latin Boyz
Maleflixxx.tv
Naked Sword
Randy Blue
Shotgun Video
Straight Boys Jerk Off

Straight College Men

For full reviews of these sites, check out my “hot sites” page at Sir Randy. And by all means, let me know if there’s something hot out there that needs my attention.

Keep up the great work, boys. You make my work hard…and that’s a very good thing.

Wishing everyone a happy, healthy, stud-filled New Year!

S.R.

Karaoke Not Always OK

Monday, December 19th, 2005

Some things are better suited for doing in the shower than in a public space: fantasizing about a threesome with Matt and Danny of Cruise Patrol, for example. And singing.

After an especially grueling week—‘tis the season after all—my head is filled with visions of peace and solitude for Friday night. That is until a gal pal shows up on my doorstep with a six pack of beer and an invitation to join her and some others for karaoke night at one of the local pubs.

At first (or rather after the first, as in beer) I’m determined to remain faithful to my initial relax-and-retire-to-bed-early-for-once plan. But after the second beer, instead of showing my friend to the door I accompany her out and down the street to the pub.

The venue is one that I’ve never been to before but the décor is ever so common and not exactly a hot meat magnet. But this isn’t the kind of place where people go to get laid. It’s where people go to be heard.

I’m no stranger to karaoke—I popped that particular cherry a few years ago, with the help of Olivia Newton-John’s “If You Love Me (Let Me Know)”—and have been known to be a bit of a karaoke whore at house parties; probably has something to do with the phallic shape of the microphone and copious amounts of alcohol usually consumed prior to my taking to the stage (or living room floor).

I don’t take it seriously. I’m not expecting to be discovered and offered a recording contract. But I quickly become aware that there is a sub-culture of people who do take karaoke seriously. VERY seriously.

The majority of the “performers” tonight are regulars, whereas I (as Madonna might once have said) am like a virgin here. One by one, each regular is called up to perform, be celebrated and as I soon find out, to be judged by the other regulars.

Not planning to sing this night, I quickly change my mind when most of the regulars start to make a second appearance on stage. As the 350 pound white gal butchers the funky Prince song “Raspberry Beret” it’s clear that I have nothing to lose with my own vocal styling.

After performing—I use the term loosely—the Canadian classic “High School Confidential” (by Rough Trade, featuring anti-diva Carole Pope) I go outside for a cigarette with my friend.

Many of the regulars have also assembled for a smoke outdoors, and I’m amazed at how self-important (and delusional) some of them appear. I try to mind my own business but can no longer remain silent when I overhear one gent being critiqued by another.

“Your second song was much better than the first,” he begins. “But what you need to do is stop trying to sound like the person whose song you’re performing. You need to focus more on sounding like yourself. You’re clearly not there but I really think you could be.”

Who does this guy think he is, American Idol’s Simon Fuller?

“Who the fuck cares how you sound?”, I casually observe. “All that should matter is if you’re having fun.”

The regulars look at one another like I’m speaking in a foreign tongue—or in need of an exorcism—as I put out my cigarette and return indoors to the last of my pint of beer.

I’ve sang my song. I’ve said my piece. It’s time to go home and take that shower. I’ve kept Matt and Danny waiting long enough.

Getting a Grip on Christmas

Sunday, December 11th, 2005

As much as I’d like to spend ALL day searching the web for hot new sites to share, or revisiting established ones like Corbin Fisher, or His First Huge Cock, it doesn’t always work out that way. The latest example to pull Sir Randy away from his laptop is Christmas, with many seasonal tasks requiring either immediate or eventual attention.

First there’s the updating of the card list—you know, which names get removed from the list for being too busy/cheap to send me a card the year before–followed by the purchasing of this year’s cards.

Then there’s addressing the envelopes, and writing something personal and sincere (without sounding too bitchy, of course) in the card that beautifully captures the spirit of the season. Up next is stuffing and sealing the damn envelopes. It’s usually at that time you realize you haven’t enough stamps in the house…

Dealing with Christmas cards is only the tip of the iceberg (and sadly, I am not referring to the Canadian vodka). The real fun begins with shopping. Who to buy for? What to buy? And where to find it? The spirit of the holiday may be in the giving but the miracle of it is in the budgeting.

At least with Christmas shopping, the quantity of eye candy increases. It’s rare that you see couples—gay or straight—shopping together in crowded malls or on the busy sidewalks of the city. And there’s nothing hotter than watching a straight stud hopelessly in search of the perfect gift for his lady…looking so lost, vulnerable and clearly in need of a helping hand (or two) from Sir Randy.

With shopping out of the way, it’s then time to lovingly wrap those gifts so that your rapt loved ones can tear into them on Christmas morning. (It’s the only time of the year that I wrap a gift with something other than old newspaper, if you can believe it. Why is a Christmas gift the exception to this rule, I wonder?)

An ex-boyfriend of mine says that “it’s better to give then receive”. Mind you, nine times out of ten when he says that it’s to explain why he’s an exclusive top, but it’s a cliché that should ring true at this time of the year. Just be mindful of what you’re giving, to whom, and the reason why, and the spirit of a holiday that can easily get out of control may suddenly make sense.

Be thankful for friends, family, or whatever makes you happiest. And be grateful that unlike Christmas, you can come more than once a year. In that respect, Sir Randy is the gift that keeps on giving long after December 25.

All I Want For XXXmas…

Monday, December 5th, 2005

Wouldn’t it be great if Xmas morning could magically become XXXmas morning courtesy of your favorite on-line porn star? What better gift under the tree—or between the sheets–to unwrap and enjoy privately before having to face the rest of what promises to be for most an exhausting day of family, friends and food. If you’re going to feast on some meat, then wouldn’t you prefer for it to be the kind that will leave you feeling satisfied but not bloated; the kind that will stretch your mouth but not your waistband?

Who would you choose as Santa’s hopefully not-so-little helper on December 25? Is there one stud that you’d put at the top of your Christmas list? (I’ll show you mine if you show me yours…)

If you’re stumped for a studly stocking stuffer, then for consideration purposes, Sir Randy is more than happy to share his wish list with you. What can I say, I give (and take) ‘til it hurts…so good, that is.

1. Max Grand - He may be a Grand but is also one in a million; sexy, hung, uncut, tall, dark and handsome, and an awesome, attentive, hot lover with a manly body that seems to only get better with age. He’s also a seasoned veteran of gay erotica, which means that his talents are thankfully on display at many sites, one of the best being Maleflixxx. Sir Randy would be a year of nice for a night of naughty with this stud.

2. Dean of Straight College Men – There’s something about Dean—well, actually plenty—that is winning. He’s a sweet muscular dude with a seductive smile, playful sense of adventure and a master of the full body massage. Better still are his frequent and welcome appearances at this site.

3. Reese of Randy Blue – Check out Reese in his cowboy hat, with his Batman tattoo and his beautiful, ass-opening big cock. It’ll leave you breathless…and ever so hungry.

Of course Sir Randy’s complete list is bigger than this but the more I get to thinking about it, the harder I find it to cock—er, I mean concentrate.

Stay tuned for my Hot Ten Sites list of the year sometime in the next few weeks!

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